Scratch That

Felix and I took the trip in to Mainz to speak with the people at the language school tonight around 7:00pm. It certainly didn't go as I had hoped. Going into the building, my biggest concern was whether I would have to start off in their basic level course and be bored or possibly be put into the intermediate course and be in a little over my head. At no point did it cross my mind that I wouldn't even qualify for the basic course, but that is what came out of the meeting.

I knew it was a bad sign when we walked into the room and sat down across from the instructor and he looked completely bewildered after I told him, in English, “I need to learn German.” After he and Felix talked for about 10 minutes, Felix translated a bit and asked if I had any questions, we left. Turns out this school only begins at the A2 level and its focus is on preparing people to go on to get their Bachelors degree after a 2 year language program. Because of this, they don't offer the basic A1 level. The A1 is a transition course for immigrants.

I'm not gonna lie, I was unreasonably upset about this news. Yes, it is frustrating that I am back at square one in finding a language school and it feels like all of those hours I spent forcing myself to complete my Rosetta Stone levels were pointless (though I know they weren't). However, it was mostly the straw that broke the camels back for me unfortunately. I miss my dog and my sister. I miss my coworkers and having a job where I showed up and knew what work there was to be done. I miss having my own money and being able to develop my hobbies (aka, buy more craft stuff and nail polish, ha, ha.) without having to ask Felix if we have money for it. He is the sole breadwinner for now (besides the alleged 100€ I will receive at the end of each month) and he absolutely never makes me feel bad about it. He supports my hobbies, but it is just my personal issue with being completely dependent on someone else for money. I cannot drive here, so I am reliant on the bus or walking 2+ miles whenever Felix isn't around. Tomorrow we are going to pick up a package for me from customs from my awesome ex-coworkers. Felix has to work tomorrow, but I cannot interact with most people well enough on my own to go alone. I also need to register as a resident here before I can get insurance, but I can't go there alone either.

The hardest part is feeling like your life isn't your own anymore. I know that I am still in a transition period and making a move to another country isn't something that you can instantly adjust to, but up until now, I had been doing a good job of going with the flow and letting things work themselves out.

It also doesn't help that my sleep cycle has become BONKERS again. I was sleeping through the night just fine for the last couple of weeks, then BOOM! I woke up at 2:00am after going to bed at 10:00pm on Tuesday night. Finally at around 6:30am, I was able to fall back asleep, but had to get up at 8:00am to get ready for work. Wednesday I slept just fine till about 8:00am and now here I am, awake since 4:00am after going to bed Thursday night at 11:00pm feeling exhausted. I have no idea what the cause is. Am I too hot? Too cold? Is it the heartburn? Is it the computer shutting down? I have no idea. Can't figure it out.

On a completely different note, everyone survived today!!! I managed just fine with the kids today and I only had to shout once. Of course I did it in English, so I don't know how many of them actually understood me, but they didn't kick the ball at the ceiling after that, so I am going to call it a success. :)

Now to end on the good stuff!

Picture from Fall 2010. Buddy is the black dog on his hind legs on the right.

Tomorrow will be a happy day for me. :) Some of my ex-coworkers sent me a package that is awaiting me at Customs in Mainz. I know it has some cake mixes that I cannot wait to turn into delicious cookies! This may not seem like a big deal, but after eating the baked goods here, which I find dry and dense, I am super excited. :) In just a few hours at 10:00am, Felix's cousin Nadine is dropping off her dog, Buddy, for us to watch for the day and possibly over night. Her boyfriend, Alex, has an interview in east Germany tomorrow, so if they get back late, we will be keeping Buddy over night.

I know it's past midnight even in central U.S., but HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!