Getting Ready to say "Ja"

Our wedding day was perfect. They say that something will always go wrong, but I think the only thing that was disappointing during the whole day was the fact that my family and our friends from outside of Germany couldn't be there. We had roughly 50 people there, but let me start from the beginning of the day.

My mom, sister and I had an appointment at a hair salon in Nieder-Olm from 8-9:30 am, Felix's dad, Jina, was to pick us up at 10:00 am and our ceremony was set to start at 10:30 am.

I woke up around 7:00 am, took a body shower, and threw my contacts in. Then we hopped in the car and picked up Felix's mom, Manisha. The appointment went a lot quicker than we had scheduled and Manisha was able to get her hair done as well. Originally she had offered to come along just as a translator.

 

I wasn't really sure what I wanted done to my hair. Since my dress had sleeves and was pretty full coverage, it needed to be up. The hairdresser put it up a little higher and made the overall look a little larger than I wanted, but I didn't hate it. I liked my dress and I liked my hair, but I love Felix and that is what I really cared about. The hair flower I made worked out well, so I was pleased.



I also made Jeny a headband with flowers from the same fabric as mine. Her hair looked great!
Even Mom was happy with her hair!



We dropped Manisha back off at her sister's and headed back to the apartment to get dressed.

Partly for cost-saving reasons and partly because I didn't want to deal with communicating what look I was going for to a German make up artist, I chose to do my own makeup. Actually, I felt a lot of freedom with my choices  because we opted not to hire a professional photographer. I wasn't worried about centerpieces or ceremony decor. I wasn't so concerned about my hair, makeup or having everything coordinate. I wasn't going to pay someone to capture those details, so it was a fee pass for me to focus on what I was really interested in.

Anyway, back to the makeup. I never really wear anything more than basic black mascara and sometimes a brown eye shadow. The morning of the wedding I decided to try eye liner and some purple eye shadow. I also hadn't planned what earrings I would wear till minutes before we needed to leave. I ended up wearing some dangly earrings with some pearls that Felix bought me a few years ago.


I pinned on the boutonnière I made onto Felix's suit and asked Jeny to snap a few pictures on our balcony before Jina arrived.

I'm so glad she took these. So far they are my favorites of the day.
Shortly after this, Jina, his wife Ranva, Namira, her other brother Nicolas, and her boyfriend Hein showed up at our door. It was my first time meeting Nicolas or Hein, so brief introductions were made and we headed out to the cars. Namira offered Nicolas to us as a photographer. It's a passion of his and he would like to turn it into a career. He had never done a wedding before, so I think he was a bit nervous. It was this offer that convinced Felix and I not to pay for a professional.

I am honestly so glad he was there. He started taking pictures almost immediately and kept taking them well into the reception. We didn't get any of those getting ready pictures or detail shots (rings, shoes, dress, etc.) that most brides these days, but I generally don't care about those. If I had wanted them, I could have asked for them.

Ralf pulled up to pick up my parents and sister while Felix and I rode with Nicolas and Jina to pick up my last minute bouquet and head to the Rathaus.



I originally wasn't going to have a bouquet because I didn't see the point. There wasn't really an aisle to walk down for the wedding and we weren't having pro photos. However, Felix felt really strongly that I should have one. I think he felt a little guilty about the things we already weren't having and he thought I might regret not having one. We kept forgetting to order one until 2 days before the wedding! Felix just told them my favorite flowers are yellow roses and they did the rest. It was so sweet of him, and I think it was a nice addition to the day.

We walked from the parking lot towards the Rathaus and as we turned the corner, it was a little overwhelming seeing the sea of people waiting there for us. My nerves had kicked in when I woke up and they didn't recede until after we said "ja."

This post is pretty long, so I'll save the actually ceremony for the next post.

Leading up to the Wedding

Well, the big day has come and gone. And it was perfect. The only thing Felix and I would have changed was being able to have everyone from outside Germany to be there to celebrate with us.

The week before the wedding was filled with trips to the airport and a bit of drama. Two of my close friends from my previous job had bought their plane tickets months ago and then backed out of coming 10 days before the wedding due to personal drama between the two of them. One friend backed out and the other didn't feel comfortable making all of the flights/connections on her own. It was difficult for me because of how the first friend handled things, but in the end, I support their decisions.

Jeny arrived Sunday morning and Felix wasn't able to come with me to pick her up due to his bachelor party the night before. I was nervous about making it to the airport on time because it was really my first time driving that long of a distance by myself. (In case anyone didn't know, we bought me a car! It's a 1998 Mercedes A160 and I've named it the Silver Bullet.) Even though the GPS tried to take me on the A60 and it was blocked off, I still made it with plenty of time. I think I waited about 30 minutes for her, but I needed that time to recompose myself after being so nervous.

It was so fantastic to see her. I had really been feeling down in the weeks leading up to her arrival. I was struggling and it was perfect timing for my family to visit. It gave me comfort. Sunday we just hung around the apartment since everything is closed on Sundays. In the evening, we visited the Mainzer Wein Markt (Mainz Wine Market). It was a nice evening, especially because it was the last night  and not too many people were still there.

Monday we took Jeny dining table shopping and into Mainz. While we were in Mainz, Felix got a call from the guys he plays soccer with some Mondays. They were short one player and wanted to know if Felix could come. Jeny wanted to watch, so we all headed to the soccer field that evening. Jeny and I drank a beer while Felix played. It was really nice and relaxing. We went back to the apartment so Felix could change before we headed to the Nieder-Olmer Kerb. Kerb is a summer festival that each town celebrates. Because it was Monday, Kerb was also pretty empty. Jeny offered to buy a round of beers and Felix made her order herself in German. I have to admit, it was pretty adorable watching Felix help Jeny order, so I snapped a picture.

Tuesday morning we all woke up bright and early to head back to the airport. My parents called while we were waiting for them at the gate to say they missed their flight to Frankfurt due to a delay in Atlanta and were re-routed to Paris. They were also late getting to Paris, so they missed their flight to Frankfurt and were arriving in the afternoon. Felix, Jeny and I killed time by trying to get my driver's license translated and grabbing some lunch. They finally arrived around 3pm without one of their suitcases. Go figure. We bought groceries and cooked dinner and that was about all we had time for that day.

Wednesday morning Felix's stepdad, Chitbodhi, arrived, so he picked him up from the airport while the rest of us slept in. We didn't do too much during the day, but that evening we went to my friend Flor's birthday dinner. It was an interesting night with a multicultural crowd. Her husband is German-Persian, Flor is Costa Rican-Dominican. Many of their guests were of the same ethnicities. I'm not even sure what others were there, but it was a rather large group. It was the first time my family had tried Persian food, but it was quite delicious. Flor and her husband, Aria, are both such positive, warm, welcome, loving people and I really am happy to have met them.

Thursday we had lunch with Chitbodhi at Felix's grandma's house. She made a traditional goulash with salad, paradise cream with strawberries, and several types of cheesecake. We were all stuffed. Afterwards, my sister, parents, Felix and I went into the city for some sightseeing.

Friday was the day of my bachelorette party. I worked on some of my DIY projects that I hadn't finished, like the men's flowers and my hair flower, putting the letters on our guestbook canvas, numbering the guestbook cards/envelopes, etc. When Felix's sister, Namira, arrived at our apartment, we went to lunch at a local Italian place that we considered for our reception site followed by some ice cream at a local Italian ice cream shop. Afterwards we came back home and I continued to work on some projects while Jeny and Namira played some games on the Playstation. Felix worked on the few songs I had requested for the reception while I added another layer of Mod Podge to my glitter shoes and painted my nails. I had a hard time deciding between something simple/classy/timeless on my nails and some actual art. I'm not exactly a simple/classy/timeless sort of person, so I went for a blue holographic polish as a happy medium. Because my two friends didn't come and my only female friend in Germany had other plans, it was just my mom, sister, Namira, and myself. I had a wonderful time and it was exactly the type of party I would have wanted. I wish my girls from college soccer could have been there, but these 3 ladies are attached to me for life. :)
We played a banana ring toss game and Pin the Junk on the Hunk and ate some delicious mini-cheesecakes that Namira had made before heading into Mainz to have some drinks at a bar. Jeny decorated some balloons and made me wear a tasteful bachelorette sash. It was great. :)

I think it's also important to note that I had zero nerves about getting married or any of the festivities until the morning of, whereas Felix was nothing but nerves for about 1.5 weeks leading up to the wedding. I wasn't worried about him being nervous, but I felt a little bad. I'm sure me not being nervous wasn't helping him any. The good thing is, as soon as we said "Ja" and exchanged rings, I could feel all of his nerves slip away.

And Saturday was THE BIG DAY!

Unsere Hochzeit und Alltag

I had a friend ask for a wedding planning update and another for a general update, so I figured I would oblige their requests. :)

The wedding planning has been mildly stressful. Even though we aren't having a full blown celebration, we still want to celebrate this time in a nice way with the people who can make it.

The dress I bought online from the U.S. was really disappointing. It didn't fit well and it was pretty blah. We promptly returned it, but returning things to another country from Germany is complicated and time consuming.

Here is a picture I found of the dress online:

 

Once I realized the dress I was really excited about wasn't going to work, I kind just gave up on the idea of a white dress or of a new dress. I plan on wearing a dress I've had for about a year that I have already worn to my cousin's wedding and my friend's wedding rehearsal. I think people feel bad for me when I tell them I'm wearing a dress I already have. A girl from Morocco in my class kept asking me today if it was too short when I showed her a picture of me in the dress on my phone. I think she expected me to wear a traditional wedding dress like she sees American women wear in movies.

We finally found a place to hold our reception. I was honestly beginning to worry that we wouldn't be able to find a place. We don't live in a big city or really even near a big city. We had 2 tentative options near the place we are getting married, the Rathaus (city hall). One is a restaurant connected to the hotel my friends will be staying in (I think Johnny Depp frequents the hotel) and the other is a restaurant where the DJK has some of their big meetings.

The hotel restaurant had the charm and traditional German character that we liked, but the room was too small for our modest guest count. The other restaurant was your typical, sterile-white banquet hall, but the prices were incredibly steep.

Then we checked out a restaurant that was a bit further away and as soon as we walked in, I knew it was perfect. The room was bright and not too small or too big. And the view. The view was AMAZING! Unfortunately, they were booked for our entire weekend. I still hope to take my parents and sister there while they're in town.

We spent the following Saturday driving all over neighboring towns looking at possible venues. We ended up going with the first one we visited. It is almost a perfect solution. If I didn't know the restaurant with the gorgeous view was ever a possibility, I'm sure I would be even more thrilled with the venue we booked.

It's a cute, traditional, small German Weingut (vineyard) called Weingut Eulenmühle (Vineyard Owl Mill). The dinning room looks like a traditional wine cellar. Unfortunately they don't have many pictures on their website or floating around the internet, but here are the few I was able to find.

I'm slightly worried that it's going to be hard to hear anyone talking with so many people in one room, but I think it'll be okay. The room holds up to 55 people and we are expecting more like 35-40.

We had our final meeting last week at the Standesamt with Herr Scherer and Frau Jans-Barclay (our translator). Herr Scherer didn't think I needed a translator with my language skills, but since we will be hiring her for our wedding day anyways, we figured why not? Basically we just had to verify that all the information we had given them was correct. They also asked Felix if he had found the man of his dreams and if I had found the woman of mine. Ha, ha! We were also asked if we were related in any way or if we had children together. I signed a bunch of papers and that was that. Now we just have to wait to hear back that our application was approved, pay a fee, provide proof that we've paid the fee, and THEN we can get married.

Next on our agenda is to figure out what food options we want to provide at the reception and order our rings.


As far as my life in Germany goes, things are pretty much the same as usual. I go to language school during the week. I've gotten back into running recently. I actually love running through the fields, but I hated going through the streets.

 

The fields are gorgeous and I've worked out a pretty good route. 

The weather has been all over the place. It gets chilly and scalding. Blue skies and black. Dry for days and then soaking for a week. But the sunsets are always stunning.
 

If you look closely you can see 2 hot air balloons in the distance.

I made a friend at language school. He's from Maine, is married, and has 3 kids. Of course shortly after we met he had to leave the school for 2 months. He's having family visit and he's going back to the U.S. for a visit, so the school said he would miss too much. He, Felix, and I met up for drinks a week or so ago and we are hopefully meeting up again tomorrow. Felix is away for training this week, so I'm a little bored holding down the fort by myself.

Straight from the Horse's Mouth

I've kind of been neglecting this blog because I really have no idea who, if anyone, actually bothers to stop by and read it. So if anyone is reading this, hello! :)

The big news is that Felix and I are officially engaged and have been since the 12th. We haven't gone "facebook official" with it yet, but I hope we will soon.

Because getting married in Germany is a lot more labor intensive (ie. tracking down and translating paperwork, then having it approved), we still do not have a solid date set. We went last week to the US Consulate in Frankfurt to get my affidavit. That was a bit of an adventure. You walk up and tell one of the officers what you are there for. Since I was only there for an affidavit and not an immigrant visa to the US, my wait was extremely short. Then you are called up to a window where they ask what your purpose there is and check your passport. We had made an appointment online a couple of days earlier, so they had my name on a list and checked my passport against it. The attendant gave me a number tag and told me to get back in line. Every time some people exited the building, a new group was able to enter. I went in with some German citizens and we went through security. They seemed clueless how it works, so I got to jump the line. It's the same as going through an airport security except they let you keep your drink after you take a sip in front of them. I gathered up my belongings and left that small building, walked through a courtyard area, and entered a much larger building. A woman greeted me at an info booth and asked to see my number. Then she told me to take a seat and watch the monitors for my number so I would know which window to go to. I presume they have the windows organized by purpose and my window was down another hallway, up some stairs, and back down a hallway. It was $50 (or 40 euro) for my affidavit. Turns out, I could have actually had this done while I was still in the US (I didn't think I could because they don't know what this form is) by going to a public notary. In the end, I think it's best that we did it here because we still would have needed to get it translated if I had done it in the US. The one I received in Frankfurt is in both languages.

We met with Herr Scherer at the Standesamt to discuss translators and the documents we need. I was really hoping we would be able to set a date during that visit. As it turns out, before you can set a date you must gather all of your papers and documents, give them to the Standesamt who sends them to Koln where they approve or deny your request.

Felix only needed his German ID card and birth certificate. I, on the other hand, need my passport, an affidavit, my Aufenthaltstitel, and the long form of my birth certificate complete with an apostille. And all of these documents (minus the passport) must be translated by a government translator to German.

I have 3 of the 4. I had ordered the long form about 2 months before I moved from Texas. Once they sent it to me, I had to turn around and sent it back to Texas, to another office, to have the apostille added. The apostille is essentially an official seal the government can add to a document. Because of an agreement between the US and Germany, Germany has to accept any document as authentic if it has an apostille. My birth certificate with the apostille didn't make it back to me in time for me to bring it with me, so my parents have sent it on to me about a week ago. Once it arrives, we will take it to someone to have it translated. Finally, we can pack up all of our documents and drop them off at the Standesamt. Herr Scherer said said it usually takes 3-4 weeks to get approval. He also said we shouldn't have any problems with getting a date in our desired time frame of end of August or early September.

Eventually we plan on having a US wedding, but probably not until we move back. We will be inviting all of Felix's family and my family, but we most likely won't have a solid date for at least another month. We aren't expecting anyone from the US (besides my parents and sister) to have the time or money for a trip here on such short notice. I'm really disappointed that we can't have both of our families at our wedding, but I can't imagine a scenario where that would be possible. Felix is upset by it too. We aren't really planning the wedding we want because we just don't have the time or money to do so right now.

Anyway, now it's out in the open and you've heard it straight from the horse's mouth. :)

Fastnacht, Vienna, and Our First Trip Back to the US

Wow, has it really been 3 months since my last post? That's longer that I had thought originally.

Things are going well here. It's still cold though. High of 50 most days. And of course we are getting our fair share of our April showers. If April showers really bring May flowers, then we are going to have an amazingly gorgeous May. The tulips are all blooming and Germans are big on gardening, so they are everywhere! Some farmers have these patches of land that they plant flowers in, like tulips, and anyone can go, clip whatever flowers they want, and leave the money for them in a locked box on the signpost. (You may remember the flowers Felix gave me at the airport when he picked me up back in October from my first post.) I'm eager to go and pick some. There is a flower patch about a mile down the street with gorgeous, bright tulips that I eye every time I drive past them, but with all of the travel we did in March, we've been watching our spending a lot this month. Hopefully there will still be some lovely blooms left by early May.

Back in February, I experienced my first Fastnacht! It was definitely an experience! Imagine a hybrid holiday combining Thanksgiving (the HUGE parade), Halloween (the costumes and candy), and Mardi Gras (the ridiculousness and booze). That is Fastnacht. This must be why Germans don't really care about Halloween, because they already have a holiday for dressing up in costumes. I won't really go into too much detail here because I have TONS of pictures to go with it. It will have to wait for a later post (another 3 months maybe? haha). But I will go ahead and post the only pictures I have on the computer right now.

 

 

 Freezing while waiting for the parade to start! We had on SOOO many layers and it wasn't enough!

I enjoyed my first Fastnacht, but I understood after the fact why Dr. Ridder warned us ahead of time to stay home and watch the parade on tv!

In early March, our friend Matt came to visit from KY! It was so nice to have a friend in Germany! He arrived on Thursday morning super early, so Felix worked from home and I went to language school while Matt napped and showered. Of course we fed him a traditional German breakfast of brotchen (basically hard rolls) with various meats, cheeses, and spreads first. Thankfully his body wasn't bothered by jet lag at all. This was good because we left the next afternoon after Felix was done working for Munich. We arrived pretty late and spent the next day exploring the city and left that night for Vienna. We spent a few days in Vienna before starting the trip back to Germany. Before we crossed over into Germany, we stopped for a few hours to explore Salzburg. All in all, it was a fantastic trip! Matt got to experience Mainz and Felix's aunt and uncle before heading back to the US. Once again, all of this requires a separate post, but here is a picture from Salzburg.

We spent the next week cleaning the apartment, catching up on work, and catching up on school before packing for our 2 week stint in the US. It was a whirlwind visit that including a wedding and all of my annual doctor exams. It's fun cramming those into 2 weeks. (okay, not really) We took one evening for a date night, but we were so exhausted all we could manage was a round of putt-putt and a movie on the couch at home. It was lovely. :)

 

Die Siedler von Catan

We picked up my Aufenthaltstitel yesterday evening.  This card isn't exactly useful for anything because I had all of the "functions" turned off. It is pretty much just physical proof that I am allowed to come and go in this country until it expires. I have to remember to bring this card with me when we leave to go to the US and when we come back to Germany in March. If I forget it, they may not let me back into Germany. I was going to post a picture of the card, but even after I put pieces of paper over my name and signature, I realized after putting the picture in my blog draft that they have a hidden text that holds your name under a flash. It just wasn't worth the effort to cover everything and risk the minute possibility of someone trying to steal my identity. 

Instead, here are pictures of what I have, just without my information. 

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This is a picture of the stickers they put in my passport as my temporary Aufenthaltstitel. It takes up 2 pages. While we were waiting for Herr Elseberg to finish up my paperwork yesterday, I realized that I only have 4 pages left in my passport. That is essentially 8 trips. That may not sound like much, but if Felix and I make 3-4 trips a year the way we have planned for this year, I will have to get a new passport before its expiration date. And that is just trips to visit the US. If we take long weekend trips by plane outside of Germany as well, I will need a new passport even sooner. To be fair, the Aufenthaltstitel took up 2 pages and my visa for Indonesia took up a page. I was a little baffled because I am pretty sure that before I met Felix, I never would have thought I would fill up a passport, let alone need a second one. I'm only 25. I still have decades of travel left in me. Felix has brought a lot of enrichment and joy to my life in many ways, but some of the big ways have been exposing me to travel, different cultures, and helping me to embrace being outside of my comfort zone.

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This is a picture of the actual card given to all Ausländer (foreigners) who qualify for an Aufenthaltstitel. It has your full name, city of birth, expiration date, signature, birthdate, country of origin, height, sex, eye color, and address somewhere on the front or back. The most interesting part of the residence permit card is on the back. There is a horizontal holographic oval that shows your picture and the expiration date depending on which way you are looking at the card. It's about .5 inches wide and 1 inch long. Pretty tiny for a picture of your face. 

If you read my last post first, then you know that language school is finally paying off big time (!), but I didn't mention the other way I am appreciating language school: the structure it provides to my week. Before I began school, every day was "the weekend" to me. My days didn't have any structure and I never knew what date it was because that information didn't pertain to my life. I love that I have somewhere to be during the week. I appreciate my weekends now. They feel special and "earned" instead of mundane. 

It's been a good week. Besides learning the key to the German language, Felix and I did pretty well with our cooking. Last night we made a sort of date night out of our evening. 

We picked up my Aufenthaltstitel after Felix was done working and had to go directly to his physio appointment. I took his phone and his money and walked down to the grocery store about a quarter of a mile down the road to pick up veggies for dinner. I walked back to the physio office and we hurried home to get out of the arctic winds. Together we made rice and steamed veggies (peas, broccoli, carrots, bell pepper, and potatoes) with Helle Soße (light sauce). We ate at the table (which happens frequently, but not every night) and shared a bottle of wine. After dinner, we played a game of Die Siedler of Catan (The settler of Catan). It is a game Felix played when he was younger, but it was completely new to me. 

 
Image credit

This is a picture I pulled off the web because I forgot to take one of our finished board last night when we were done. We have a cheaper version where everything is cardboard (the streets, towns, cities, and Räuber (robber)), but this is a nicer board. The idea is to get to 10 points to win. Building a town is 1 point, building a city is 2. You have to upgrade a town to a city; you can't just build a city. The cards that you can sort of see on the top of the picture and the bottom left corner are the "materials." You need a wood card and a brick card to build a street, for example. You take turns rolling the die twice. If you have a city or town on the corner of the number rolled, you get to pick up 1 (for a town) or 2 (for a city) cards of that corresponding "material." For example, if I am the red player in the picture above, I have a town on a 6, an 11, and a 5. If a 6 is rolled, I get to pick up a wheat card because the background image on the 6 is wheat. If a 5 is rolled, I get to pick up one wood card, because the background is of the forest. And if an 11 is rolled, I get to pick up a stone card. I can then trade in the cards in my hand to build streets, towns, and cities.

It gets a bit more complex obviously, but that is the gist of it. After Felix kicked my butt, we watched a movie with Kiera Knightly and Andrew Garfield called "Never Let Me Go." I vaguely remembered hearing about it, but I didn't remember hearing anything of what it is about. It was an interesting premise based on a world where children were created for the sole purpose of "donation." They are purely sources of organs for actual people. It's based on a book and I actually quite liked it. It was uncomfortable to watch at times because it causes you to wonder what a life would be like if you always knew your only purpose in life was to "donate." Creepy. 

There aren't any big plans for our weekend. I'm going to paint my nails after I post this and Felix is at his first meeting as a member of the DJK. He is getting sick, so I imagine we'll buy groceries for the next 3 days tomorrow and spend a lot of time tidying up the apartment and relaxing.

I hope everyone is doing well! :)